My husband and I have been separated (not legally) since October 2025. The separation is not formal, as I chose to leave our home due to the verbal and emotional abuse I experienced daily. My husband has not worked for the past eight years, and I have been the sole provider for our three children, ages 22, 20, and 10.
After I left, my two older children came with me, but my youngest chose to stay with his father because he said his dad would be alone. I work as an online English tutor, and my income depends on daily client bookings, which vary each day.
Since the separation, my husband has constantly harassed me through messages and berated me whenever I could not provide more money than he demanded. My youngest child, who lives with him, attends a public school, and my husband insists that I pay for all household expenses, including bills, food, and other necessities. I also support my two older children, who are both in college. Recently, we had a major argument because he questioned how much money I earn and how I use it. He told me he has the right to access my finances because we are married and that the law requires me to disclose my income to him. He even went to the barangay and filed a complaint claiming I was not supporting them financially. I presented proof of the money I sent that month, which totaled almost ₱20,000. The barangay ruled in my favor, recognizing that I was providing support for my child. My husband argued that the support was only for our child and not for him, but the barangay stated that I am not obligated to support him and that he must support himself.
Previously, I gave them almost ₱5,000 weekly, but due to my unstable income and my health problems, I had to reduce the allowance to ₱1,500 weekly and provide additional food supplies for my younger child. This angered him, and now he demands that I disclose my full financial status so he can see where my money goes.
Am I required to support him even if we are separated and no longer living together? Am I legally obligated to show him my financial information? For context, he has not worked since he was terminated from his previous job due to substance abuse, and he refuses to work if the pay is low. I told him that if he cannot support our child while the child is under his care, then he should give me custody instead. I will provide for our child as long as he lives with me.
After I left, my two older children came with me, but my youngest chose to stay with his father because he said his dad would be alone. I work as an online English tutor, and my income depends on daily client bookings, which vary each day.
Since the separation, my husband has constantly harassed me through messages and berated me whenever I could not provide more money than he demanded. My youngest child, who lives with him, attends a public school, and my husband insists that I pay for all household expenses, including bills, food, and other necessities. I also support my two older children, who are both in college. Recently, we had a major argument because he questioned how much money I earn and how I use it. He told me he has the right to access my finances because we are married and that the law requires me to disclose my income to him. He even went to the barangay and filed a complaint claiming I was not supporting them financially. I presented proof of the money I sent that month, which totaled almost ₱20,000. The barangay ruled in my favor, recognizing that I was providing support for my child. My husband argued that the support was only for our child and not for him, but the barangay stated that I am not obligated to support him and that he must support himself.
Previously, I gave them almost ₱5,000 weekly, but due to my unstable income and my health problems, I had to reduce the allowance to ₱1,500 weekly and provide additional food supplies for my younger child. This angered him, and now he demands that I disclose my full financial status so he can see where my money goes.
Am I required to support him even if we are separated and no longer living together? Am I legally obligated to show him my financial information? For context, he has not worked since he was terminated from his previous job due to substance abuse, and he refuses to work if the pay is low. I told him that if he cannot support our child while the child is under his care, then he should give me custody instead. I will provide for our child as long as he lives with me.
Lawyer Answers
Recososa Law Firm
Feb 25, 2026
Feb 25, 2026
Best Answer
Hello:
Thank you for sharing your situation. I understand how emotionally exhausting this must be for you. I am the owner of Recososa Law Firm, and we are located in the Philippines, with offices in Luzon, Visayas, and Mindanao. Presuming this is under Philippine jurisdiction, here is a clear explanation of your legal position.
Firstly, on the issue of supporting your husband.
Under the Family Code of the Philippines, spouses are generally obliged to support each other. However, this obligation is not absolute. Support is based on two things: a.) the needs of the person asking for support, and b.) the financial capacity of the one giving support.
If your husband is capable of working but deliberately refuses to work, especially if the reason is personal choice or substance abuse, the law does not reward idleness. The obligation of support is not meant to enable a spouse to remain unemployed by choice. The barangay was correct in stating that he must support himself. If he is physically and mentally able to work but refuses, he cannot compel you to fully shoulder his living expenses.
Secondly, on your obligation to support your children.
Yes, you are legally obligated to support your minor child, the 10 year old. Both parents share that responsibility. It is not solely yours. Since the child is living with the father, both of you are still obliged to contribute proportionately to your financial capacity.
Your older children, ages 22 and 20, may still be entitled to support if they are still studying and not yet capable of self support, provided they are pursuing their education in good faith. That is also recognized under the Family Code.
From what you described, you are already providing support. ₱20,000 in one month is not insignificant, especially considering your unstable income and health condition. Support is always proportional to capacity. The law does not fix a specific amount. It depends on what you can reasonably afford.
Thirdly, are you required to support your husband while separated.
If the separation is due to his fault, such as habitual verbal and emotional abuse, and if he is capable of working but refuses to, you are not legally bound to fully maintain him as if he were dependent and incapacitated. If this escalates to court, he would have to prove that he truly needs support and that he is unable to provide for himself. Based on your narration, that may be difficult for him to establish.
Fourthly, are you legally obligated to disclose your full financial information to him.
No, there is no law that requires you to voluntarily disclose your complete financial records to your spouse just because he demands it. While marriage creates a property regime, that does not mean he has automatic access to your bank statements or detailed income breakdown, especially when you are living separately and he is using that information to harass you.
If there were a court case for support, the court may require both parties to disclose financial capacity. But that is through proper legal process, not through personal demand or intimidation. He cannot compel you privately.
Fifthly, on the barangay complaint.
The barangay already recognized that you are providing support. That is significant. Keep all proof of remittances, transfers, receipts, and messages. Documentation protects you.
If he continues harassing and berating you through messages, you may consider filing a complaint under the Anti Violence Against Women and Their Children Act, Republic Act No. 9262. Economic abuse and psychological violence are recognized forms of violence under that law. Constant harassment, intimidation over finances, and attempts to control your money may fall under that if proven.
Lastly, on custody.
For children below 7 years old, the law favors the mother. Your youngest is 10, so custody is determined by the best interest of the child. If the father is unemployed, has a history of substance abuse, and cannot properly provide, you may have strong grounds to seek custody through the court. Your statement that you are willing to fully support your child if the child lives with you is legally reasonable.
You are not legally required to fund your husband’s refusal to work. You are required to support your child, but only according to your financial capacity, and the father shares that duty. You are not obligated to hand over your financial records just because he demands them.
If you wish to explore filing for legal separation, custody, or protection under RA 9262, we can assist you. We can schedule an initial consultation via Google Meet, Zoom, or physical consultation at our office.
I also hope you may consider liking and sharing our pages:
Sincerely,
Thank you for sharing your situation. I understand how emotionally exhausting this must be for you. I am the owner of Recososa Law Firm, and we are located in the Philippines, with offices in Luzon, Visayas, and Mindanao. Presuming this is under Philippine jurisdiction, here is a clear explanation of your legal position.
Firstly, on the issue of supporting your husband.
Under the Family Code of the Philippines, spouses are generally obliged to support each other. However, this obligation is not absolute. Support is based on two things: a.) the needs of the person asking for support, and b.) the financial capacity of the one giving support.
If your husband is capable of working but deliberately refuses to work, especially if the reason is personal choice or substance abuse, the law does not reward idleness. The obligation of support is not meant to enable a spouse to remain unemployed by choice. The barangay was correct in stating that he must support himself. If he is physically and mentally able to work but refuses, he cannot compel you to fully shoulder his living expenses.
Secondly, on your obligation to support your children.
Yes, you are legally obligated to support your minor child, the 10 year old. Both parents share that responsibility. It is not solely yours. Since the child is living with the father, both of you are still obliged to contribute proportionately to your financial capacity.
Your older children, ages 22 and 20, may still be entitled to support if they are still studying and not yet capable of self support, provided they are pursuing their education in good faith. That is also recognized under the Family Code.
From what you described, you are already providing support. ₱20,000 in one month is not insignificant, especially considering your unstable income and health condition. Support is always proportional to capacity. The law does not fix a specific amount. It depends on what you can reasonably afford.
Thirdly, are you required to support your husband while separated.
If the separation is due to his fault, such as habitual verbal and emotional abuse, and if he is capable of working but refuses to, you are not legally bound to fully maintain him as if he were dependent and incapacitated. If this escalates to court, he would have to prove that he truly needs support and that he is unable to provide for himself. Based on your narration, that may be difficult for him to establish.
Fourthly, are you legally obligated to disclose your full financial information to him.
No, there is no law that requires you to voluntarily disclose your complete financial records to your spouse just because he demands it. While marriage creates a property regime, that does not mean he has automatic access to your bank statements or detailed income breakdown, especially when you are living separately and he is using that information to harass you.
If there were a court case for support, the court may require both parties to disclose financial capacity. But that is through proper legal process, not through personal demand or intimidation. He cannot compel you privately.
Fifthly, on the barangay complaint.
The barangay already recognized that you are providing support. That is significant. Keep all proof of remittances, transfers, receipts, and messages. Documentation protects you.
If he continues harassing and berating you through messages, you may consider filing a complaint under the Anti Violence Against Women and Their Children Act, Republic Act No. 9262. Economic abuse and psychological violence are recognized forms of violence under that law. Constant harassment, intimidation over finances, and attempts to control your money may fall under that if proven.
Lastly, on custody.
For children below 7 years old, the law favors the mother. Your youngest is 10, so custody is determined by the best interest of the child. If the father is unemployed, has a history of substance abuse, and cannot properly provide, you may have strong grounds to seek custody through the court. Your statement that you are willing to fully support your child if the child lives with you is legally reasonable.
You are not legally required to fund your husband’s refusal to work. You are required to support your child, but only according to your financial capacity, and the father shares that duty. You are not obligated to hand over your financial records just because he demands them.
If you wish to explore filing for legal separation, custody, or protection under RA 9262, we can assist you. We can schedule an initial consultation via Google Meet, Zoom, or physical consultation at our office.
I also hope you may consider liking and sharing our pages:
Sincerely,
Recososa Law Firm
Feb 25, 2026
Feb 25, 2026
Hello:
Thank you for sharing your situation. I understand how emotionally exhausting this must be for you. I am the owner of Recososa Law Firm, and we are located in the Philippines, with offices in Luzon, Visayas, and Mindanao. Presuming this is under Philippine jurisdiction, here is a clear explanation of your legal position.
Firstly, on the issue of supporting your husband.
Under the Family Code of the Philippines, spouses are generally obliged to support each other. However, this obligation is not absolute. Support is based on two things: a.) the needs of the person asking for support, and b.) the financial capacity of the one giving support.
If your husband is capable of working but deliberately refuses to work, especially if the reason is personal choice or substance abuse, the law does not reward idleness. The obligation of support is not meant to enable a spouse to remain unemployed by choice. The barangay was correct in stating that he must support himself. If he is physically and mentally able to work but refuses, he cannot compel you to fully shoulder his living expenses.
Secondly, on your obligation to support your children.
Yes, you are legally obligated to support your minor child, the 10 year old. Both parents share that responsibility. It is not solely yours. Since the child is living with the father, both of you are still obliged to contribute proportionately to your financial capacity.
Your older children, ages 22 and 20, may still be entitled to support if they are still studying and not yet capable of self support, provided they are pursuing their education in good faith. That is also recognized under the Family Code.
From what you described, you are already providing support. ₱20,000 in one month is not insignificant, especially considering your unstable income and health condition. Support is always proportional to capacity. The law does not fix a specific amount. It depends on what you can reasonably afford.
Thirdly, are you required to support your husband while separated.
If the separation is due to his fault, such as habitual verbal and emotional abuse, and if he is capable of working but refuses to, you are not legally bound to fully maintain him as if he were dependent and incapacitated. If this escalates to court, he would have to prove that he truly needs support and that he is unable to provide for himself. Based on your narration, that may be difficult for him to establish.
Fourthly, are you legally obligated to disclose your full financial information to him.
No, there is no law that requires you to voluntarily disclose your complete financial records to your spouse just because he demands it. While marriage creates a property regime, that does not mean he has automatic access to your bank statements or detailed income breakdown, especially when you are living separately and he is using that information to harass you.
If there were a court case for support, the court may require both parties to disclose financial capacity. But that is through proper legal process, not through personal demand or intimidation. He cannot compel you privately.
Fifthly, on the barangay complaint.
The barangay already recognized that you are providing support. That is significant. Keep all proof of remittances, transfers, receipts, and messages. Documentation protects you.
If he continues harassing and berating you through messages, you may consider filing a complaint under the Anti Violence Against Women and Their Children Act, Republic Act No. 9262. Economic abuse and psychological violence are recognized forms of violence under that law. Constant harassment, intimidation over finances, and attempts to control your money may fall under that if proven.
Lastly, on custody.
For children below 7 years old, the law favors the mother. Your youngest is 10, so custody is determined by the best interest of the child. If the father is unemployed, has a history of substance abuse, and cannot properly provide, you may have strong grounds to seek custody through the court. Your statement that you are willing to fully support your child if the child lives with you is legally reasonable.
You are not legally required to fund your husband’s refusal to work. You are required to support your child, but only according to your financial capacity, and the father shares that duty. You are not obligated to hand over your financial records just because he demands them.
If you wish to explore filing for legal separation, custody, or protection under RA 9262, we can assist you. We can schedule an initial consultation via Google Meet, Zoom, or physical consultation at our office.
Sincerely,
ATTY. JOFRE B. RECOSOSA
Owner/Managing Partner
Recososa Law Firm
Thank you for sharing your situation. I understand how emotionally exhausting this must be for you. I am the owner of Recososa Law Firm, and we are located in the Philippines, with offices in Luzon, Visayas, and Mindanao. Presuming this is under Philippine jurisdiction, here is a clear explanation of your legal position.
Firstly, on the issue of supporting your husband.
Under the Family Code of the Philippines, spouses are generally obliged to support each other. However, this obligation is not absolute. Support is based on two things: a.) the needs of the person asking for support, and b.) the financial capacity of the one giving support.
If your husband is capable of working but deliberately refuses to work, especially if the reason is personal choice or substance abuse, the law does not reward idleness. The obligation of support is not meant to enable a spouse to remain unemployed by choice. The barangay was correct in stating that he must support himself. If he is physically and mentally able to work but refuses, he cannot compel you to fully shoulder his living expenses.
Secondly, on your obligation to support your children.
Yes, you are legally obligated to support your minor child, the 10 year old. Both parents share that responsibility. It is not solely yours. Since the child is living with the father, both of you are still obliged to contribute proportionately to your financial capacity.
Your older children, ages 22 and 20, may still be entitled to support if they are still studying and not yet capable of self support, provided they are pursuing their education in good faith. That is also recognized under the Family Code.
From what you described, you are already providing support. ₱20,000 in one month is not insignificant, especially considering your unstable income and health condition. Support is always proportional to capacity. The law does not fix a specific amount. It depends on what you can reasonably afford.
Thirdly, are you required to support your husband while separated.
If the separation is due to his fault, such as habitual verbal and emotional abuse, and if he is capable of working but refuses to, you are not legally bound to fully maintain him as if he were dependent and incapacitated. If this escalates to court, he would have to prove that he truly needs support and that he is unable to provide for himself. Based on your narration, that may be difficult for him to establish.
Fourthly, are you legally obligated to disclose your full financial information to him.
No, there is no law that requires you to voluntarily disclose your complete financial records to your spouse just because he demands it. While marriage creates a property regime, that does not mean he has automatic access to your bank statements or detailed income breakdown, especially when you are living separately and he is using that information to harass you.
If there were a court case for support, the court may require both parties to disclose financial capacity. But that is through proper legal process, not through personal demand or intimidation. He cannot compel you privately.
Fifthly, on the barangay complaint.
The barangay already recognized that you are providing support. That is significant. Keep all proof of remittances, transfers, receipts, and messages. Documentation protects you.
If he continues harassing and berating you through messages, you may consider filing a complaint under the Anti Violence Against Women and Their Children Act, Republic Act No. 9262. Economic abuse and psychological violence are recognized forms of violence under that law. Constant harassment, intimidation over finances, and attempts to control your money may fall under that if proven.
Lastly, on custody.
For children below 7 years old, the law favors the mother. Your youngest is 10, so custody is determined by the best interest of the child. If the father is unemployed, has a history of substance abuse, and cannot properly provide, you may have strong grounds to seek custody through the court. Your statement that you are willing to fully support your child if the child lives with you is legally reasonable.
You are not legally required to fund your husband’s refusal to work. You are required to support your child, but only according to your financial capacity, and the father shares that duty. You are not obligated to hand over your financial records just because he demands them.
If you wish to explore filing for legal separation, custody, or protection under RA 9262, we can assist you. We can schedule an initial consultation via Google Meet, Zoom, or physical consultation at our office.
Sincerely,
ATTY. JOFRE B. RECOSOSA
Owner/Managing Partner
Recososa Law Firm
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